Where Legends Never Retire
The nation's premier nightclub for seasoned exotic entertainers.
Gravity is just a suggestion.
Open Nightly • Early Bird Specials Start at 4:30 PM • Free Parking for Mobility Scooters
Est. 1974 — Still Hanging In There
Our dancers have a combined 847 years of experience. What they lack in cartilage, they make up for in charisma.
Try our famous "The Prolapse" or a refreshing "Hip Replacement on the Rocks." All drinks served with a complimentary fiber supplement.
ADA-compliant stage ramps, extra-wide pole spacing, and a defibrillator in every VIP booth. Safety first, dignity... eventually.
All shows conclude by 8:30 PM so everyone can take their evening medications
a.k.a. "The Human Pendulum" • Age 71
Specialty: Gravity-Defying Floor Work (with a LifeAlert)
38 years in the game. Her signature move "The Avalanche" has its own insurance waiver.
a.k.a. "The Silver Fox" • Age 68
Specialty: Slow-Motion Pole Work
Voted "Most Likely to Throw Out His Back" three years running. Tips accepted in cash or Werther's Originals.
a.k.a. "The Immovable Object" • Age 74
Specialty: Seated Exotic Dance
On her 12th farewell tour. "I keep trying to retire but the pole keeps calling." Currently performing from a La-Z-Boy.
a.k.a. "Knees of Steel" • Age 66
Specialty: The Reverse Mortgage
Her legendary move involves descending the pole so slowly the audience isn't sure if it's choreography or a medical event.
* Performer lineup subject to change based on hip forecasts and medication schedules
Something saggy every night of the week
Gentle stretching on stage. Foam rollers provided. Tipping optional, Bengay mandatory.
$2 tacos and our cosmetic surgeon on-call for free consultations in the champagne room.
Sing your heart out! Lyrics displayed in 72pt font. Hearing aids amplified through the PA system.
Watch our performers attempt moves from 1987. Medical staff on standby. Signed waivers required.
Bring a friend who's had bypass surgery, they get in free! (Proof of scar required at the door.)
Our biggest night! Full cast, full bar, full dentures. The confetti cannon shoots loose calcium supplements.
Bottomless mimosas and a podiatrist in the VIP lounge. Church crowd discount before 2 PM.
All cocktails served with a complimentary pill organizer
Vodka, prune juice, and a splash of regret. Served drooping over the rim.
Bourbon, ginger, and ibuprofen extract. Titanium swizzle stick included.
Blue curaçao and vodka, served in a glass with purple squiggly straws.
Red wine, fruit, and a generous pour of Metamucil. Keeps things moving on the dance floor.
Fireball and Kahlúa. It goes down easy... just like our performers off the pole.
Chocolate Ensure, Baileys, and a multivitamin garnish. Nutrition meets nightlife.
Jalapeño tequila, lime, and a tiny handheld fan on the rim. You'll feel seen.
Any well drink ordered before 5 PM. Because the real party starts at 4:30.
* We are legally required to inform you that "The Prolapse" is just a drink name. Management is not responsible for any other prolapses occurring on premises.
Flash your AARP card for our premium experience. Because you've earned it. Probably.
Memory foam VIP booths with lumbar support and cup holders for both your drink and your dentures.
Each booth has its own thermostat. Set to whatever temperature ends the argument.
A dedicated attendant to remind you of your 7 PM medications. Never miss a dose or a dance.
$69/year
At our members' age, "lifetime" is a great deal for us.
Includes priority seating, a personal defibrillator, and 10% off at the bar.
"I came for the early bird special and stayed for Big Edna. I haven't felt this alive since my second bypass."
— Harold, 78
"The heated poles are a game changer. My arthritis hasn't felt this good since... well, ever. Five stars."
— Glorious Gloria, Performer
"Lost my glasses during Sag-urday Spectacular. Staff found them in the confetti cannon. Wonderful customer service."
— Marge, 72
"My grandson set up my Uber to get here. I don't understand this phone but I understand a good time. Will return if alive."
— Eugene, 84
No flash photography. Partly for ambiance, mostly because it startles the performers.
Tip generously. These legends predate minimum wage.
The champagne room has a panic button AND a nurse call button. Know the difference.
Please do not oil the poles. They are pre-lubricated with medical-grade joint cream.
Mobility devices must be parked in designated areas. No Rascal scooter jousting.
Performers are independent contractors. Management is not responsible for anything that detaches during a show.
Two-drink minimum. Four-pill maximum.
No outside Ensure. We sell it here for $9.